A Well-Designed Move: How to Downsize or Upsize with Intention

A friend's mother recently decided it was time to downsize (also known as right-sizing) and move closer to her children and grandchildren. She's had some health challenges, including a hidden risk she's discovered with age: GRAVITY! My friend contacted me in anticipation of adding an addition on the main level so her mother can visit often. YAY!

Here's what I've learned from working with clients through major moves: whether they're downsizing or upgrading their home to better align with their current lifestyle, the key to a successful transition isn't just logistics; it's about intention.

The Emotional Reality of Moving

Moving is one of life's top 10 most stressful events. But here's what most people don't talk about: it's not just physical exertion...it's mentally and emotionally fatiguing.

Since everyone handles transitions differently, there's no single right way to approach a move. But the best moves begin with intention. Moving isn't just physically demanding, but emotionally and mentally draining as well. It involves more than packing furniture. People must process memories, navigate change, make a myriad of decisions, and sometimes grieve the loss of a neighborhood and friends they love. 

The Framework: Starting with Intention

When I work with clients who are downsizing or upsizing, we start with a comprehensive catalog of all existing furniture—complete with detailed measurements and photographs—and create a floor plan of the new home (or new layout if it's a full gut renovation.)

As a full-service interior design firm, we provide clients with detailed space plans showing which pieces we recommend keeping in the new space, considering both sentiment and function. We assess each piece's condition, style, and compatibility with the client's new environment, then provide a comprehensive guide to navigate the moving process.

Here's how you can apply this same systematic approach:

Step 1: How a project begins is usually how it ends

Designate staging areas: Choose specific areas of your home for sorting—your garage, basement, or a spare room. Create clearly marked zones for keep, donate, family giveaways, and trash.

Gather supplies: Stock up on moving boxes, packing tape, bubble wrap, markers, labels, trash bags, and donation bags. Having everything on hand prevents interruptions once you start sorting.

Create a moving binder: This becomes your command center for floor plans, furniture inventories, photos, measurements, contractor contacts, and moving company information. A digital binder is ideal since you can access it anywhere and easily share with your spouse or family members—try apps like Notion, Trello, or Evernote, or even Google Drive with organized folders and lists. But an old-school three-ring binder works perfectly too—choose whatever system you'll actually use consistently.

Step 2: The Furniture Audit

Before you measure a single piece, you need to honestly assess what you own. This isn't just about condition—it's about connection. For each piece of furniture, ask yourself:

• What's the condition? Is it structurally sound or showing significant wear?
• Is it sentimental? Does it hold irreplaceable memories or family history?
• Can it be refinished or reupholstered? This isn't where you'll save money—it's about preserving pieces with emotional value that might otherwise be discarded.
• Do you even like it? Be honest. Just because something was expensive or given to you doesn't mean it deserves space in your new home. (I'm looking at you, McGuire chairs.)
• Is it dated? Some pieces are timeless; others aren't.
• Is it compatible with your new environment? Furniture from a rustic mountain home won't be suitable for a light & airy beach house.
• Is it still your style?

This audit helps you separate the furniture worth keeping from the pieces you're holding onto out of guilt or habit.

Step 3: The Furniture Inventory

Now create a comprehensive inventory of the pieces you're keeping. Don't just list "dining table"—include detailed measurements, photographs, and condition notes (including whether pieces need reupholstery or refinishing). This detailed inventory becomes your working document for the next step.

Pro tip: Take clear photographs from multiple angles. These will be invaluable for visualizing pieces in your new space and sharing with family members if you're hoping to pass items down.

Step 4: The Floor Plan Foundation

Get your hands on an accurate floor plan of your new home. This isn't just about measurements (though those matter). It's about understanding how you'll actually live in the space.

Walk through each room mentally. Where will you have your morning coffee? Where will the grandchildren sleep when they visit? Do you need a bunk room or should you add a sleeper sofa? Do adult children work when they visit? If so, using a desk in lieu of a nightstand means they can stay longer.

Step 5: Room-by-Room Strategy

For each room in your current home, create five lists—but don't stop there. As you categorize each item, move it immediately to its designated area:

• Keep pile: Move directly to your staging area for packing
• Stay pile: Leave in place with a colored dot or tag
• Donate pile: Move to your garage or designated donation staging area
• Give away pile: Take photos and immediately text family members, then move to the staging area
• Trash pile: Put directly in donation bags or trash

Let me share the 'OHIO' philosophy efficiency experts teach: Only Handle It Once. Don't move boxes of items from room to room multiple times. Don't create piles that you'll sort through again later. Make the decision once, then immediately act on it. After all, a lot of what you are sorting is simply delayed decisions to begin with!

This prevents the exhausting cycle of handling the same items repeatedly—something that makes moves feel overwhelming and never-ending. When you pick up your grandmother's china, decide its fate right then and either pack it, donate it, or stage it for family pickup. Don't create a "maybe" pile that you'll revisit next week.

This systematic approach prevents the overwhelm that leads to hasty decisions you'll regret later....or worse, paying for storage or moving something you will never use in your new space!

Family Dynamics: Managing Expectations Around Sentimental Items

In my friend's mother's case, there are 3 children and several grandchildren, so some pieces will find a home. But I'm also a realist, and I have seen the frustration and disappointment that clients have when trying to re-home valuable oriental rugs and expensive china.

Here's the uncomfortable truth: your children may not want your heirlooms. Don't be upset. These items served you well—be happy and grateful for that. They no longer owe you anything. In the business world, we call these sunk costs: the money was already spent.

Setting Realistic Expectations

Start conversations with family members early—and I mean months before the move, not weeks. Share photos of items you're hoping to pass down. Ask specific questions: "Would you have space for Grandma's dining table in your current home?" rather than "Do you want Grandma's things?"

Consider these alternatives for cherished items that don't find family homes:

• Professional photography to preserve memories
• Repurposing pieces (turning a dresser into a bathroom vanity)
• Donating to organizations that align with your values
• An estate sale handled by professionals. Remember, professionals may understand an item's value, but they can only get what the market is willing to pay.

The Gift of Letting Go

Taking charge of your own downsizing can be one of the most thoughtful gifts you give your family. When you handle these decisions yourself, you're creating space for your loved ones to focus on spending time with you rather than sorting through possessions during what's already an emotional transition.

The Flip Side: Creating Legacy Homes

While some clients are rightsizing to smaller spaces, I also work with clients moving in the opposite direction—families buying ski houses and lake houses to create legacy homes where children and grandchildren can gather for decades to come.

These moves require a different kind of intentionality. Instead of paring down, you're building up. Instead of letting go, you're creating spaces that will hold future memories.

Designing for Generations

When planning legacy homes, think beyond your immediate needs:

• Flexible spaces that can adapt as the family grows
• Durable materials that require minimal maintenance
• Gathering spaces that encourage connection across generations and accommodate all mobility types
• Accessible design features, including spaces where an elevator could be installed

The furniture choices for a legacy home should be sturdy rather than precious. You want pieces that can handle a toddler's sticky fingers and a teenager's friends without causing anxiety.

The Long View

Legacy homes aren't just about square footage—they're about creating a family headquarters where traditions can take root. Whether it's a ski house where Dad finally stores his skis to get a snowboarding lesson or a lake house where cousins spend summers, these spaces become the backdrop for the stories your family will tell for generations.

Why Planning Ahead Makes All the Difference

As a designer, I've seen moves go spectacularly well and become stressful, chaotic messes that cause bickering. The difference almost always comes down to planning—not just the logistics, but the emotional preparation.

The 12-Week Game Plan

A well-designed move starts at least 12-16 weeks before your moving date. This gives you time to:

• Scan paperwork, and shred old files (I've used this scanner for 4 years and it's been a game-changer!)
• Research and hire reputable movers
• Create detailed inventories with measurements and photographs
• Create a furniture plan for the new space and determine which pieces will work
• Have thoughtful conversations with family members
• Gradually declutter rather than making rushed decisions
• Arrange for special handling of valuable or fragile items

Then, at the 8-week mark, the intensive execution phase begins with detailed packing schedules, final logistics coordination, and the focused work that gets you to moving day.

The Power of Systems

Using a systematic approach—complete with detailed furniture catalogs, floor plans, and room-by-room strategies—removes the guesswork from an already stressful process. It also helps ensure that nothing important gets forgotten in the chaos.

The Designer's Secret: It's About the Life You're Moving Toward

At the end of the day, a well-designed move isn't just about efficiently relocating your possessions. It's about intentionally designing the next chapter of your life.

Whether you're downsizing to a maintenance-free condo or upsizing to accommodate multigenerational gatherings, the goal is the same: creating a space that supports the life you want to live.

That's what a well-designed move really looks like: not just a change of address, but a thoughtful transition to a home that fits your life perfectly. 

Additional Resources for Your Moving Journey

If you're navigating the moving process, here are some helpful resources to get you started:

• 30 Day Decluttering Challenge - Transform overwhelming spaces into organized ones with our proven daily tasks that make decluttering manageable
• Renovation Blueprint - Planning to renovate your new home? Download our complete guide to avoid costly mistakes and create the home of your dreams
• How to Responsibly Get Rid of Furniture - Learn the most sustainable and profitable ways to part with pieces that won't work in your new space

Remember: moving is not just about getting from point A to point B. It's about designing a life that fits who you are now, not who you used to be. Take your time, be intentional, and don't be afraid to ask for help along the way.

Ready to make your move a well-designed one? Contact us to learn more about our relocation planning services and how we can help you transition to your new home with confidence and intention.

Some links in this guide are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you purchase through them. I only recommend products I personally use and love!